Monday, November 07, 2005

One artsy 6 year old.


So far so good. Expectations still low enough to get away with a mediocre birthday party.

The only spectacular part (in my humble opinion) was the cake. I got the idea on the net and whipped it up. Surprisingly easy even with said 6 year old asking every TWO seconds if she can do it. Answer: "No, but you can go to town on the cupcakes." And she did.

Behold the cake:

Did I mention that she is an art fanatic? Anything artsy now wins over anything princessy or Barbie-y which is a humongo step up in my eyes. She has decided to carry a portfolio (pronounced interchangebly fart-tolio and fort-folio) everywhere we go so she can draw whenever the mood strikes her. At the park, at Grandma's house, at church; if the kid doesn't make us millions it won't be for lack of material.

Someone told her once that she was a regular Picasso. She showed considerable interest in this artist so, of course, I ran to the library at the earliest possible convenience - a week later (did I ever say my life was convenient?) and checked out a huge book full of Picasso's works. While wisely skimming through the book to find pictures suitable to show her (I KNOW it's art, but my 6 year old does NOT need to see what is on page 64 thankyouverymuch) she declared, "I can paint like that!" Indeed. Some of the later works she probably could paint almost just like that. I then reminded her of the part in Toy Story where Potato Head jumbles up his face and says, "Look! I'm Picasso!" Amidst her giggles I informed her that she was no longer 'uncultured swine' which of course produced even more giggles. From her too!

Ah, me.

My oldest, my first born. We fight quite a bit, her and I. It turns out she is a little too much like me with the whole stubborn as a mule thing. Throw in a dramatic flair with sensitive, prickly feelings and she can be a handful. But she is also funny, caring, smart (almost too smart sometimes) beautiful and just - good.

I want the world for her but will be happy keeping her to myself (okay I'll share with pre-approved family members- sheesh!) for oh say ten, twenty years.

My little artsy fartsy girl. Happy Birthday. I love you.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Perfectionism Stinks

Starting this blog has taken a great deal of brain power the last few days. My first real post! What should I write about? How do I want to present myself? Do I lead with the intellectual side that has, ahem, gone quite dormant since I got out of school? Or do I possibly (probably) turn away readers by going with what's become familiar to me for the last seven years?

Clock ticking.

Crickets chirping.

I got nothin'.

See, this is my problem: I am a perfectionist.

I want to do things right. That's all well and good, isn't it? However, if there is a chance that I believe I won't do it well, more often than not I simply won't do it. Oh, I tell myself I will but it just doesn't happen. There is much less self-recrimination in not getting around to doing something than there is to doing it and sucking at it. And suckage? Well it sucks, doesn't it?

It doesn't help this disease of mine that I have been reading some awesome blogs for some time now. Ones that make me sit up and PAY ATTENTION and then *gasp* actually think. Ones that make me want to dust off my keyboard and actually write something rather than simply surfing and clicking.

But then, inevitably, the same old doubt-ridden disease raises its head and we have this rather discouraging conversation:

Disease: "You know you can't write."
Me: "I know it's been a while, but I can still churn out a decent word or two."
D: "Hhmmm, let's see when was the last time you did anything scholarly?
Besides reading to the kids.
M: Blink. Blink, blink.
D: "That's what I thought."

Unfortunately I have also come across the blogs that make my eyes glaze over, because really, some of them remind me of my silly little dairy from middle school. You know the one:

"Today was a great day. Tommy looked right at me and sort of smiled and then I went hung out at Susie's house and it was really fun."

First, who cares?? Second, I am way too much of a snob to fall into that category. So seriously, I would rather not have blog unless it means something.

Even if it only means something to me.